Best smart aleck quotes from CHINATOWN
“Alright, Curly, enough’s enough. Ya can’t eat the venetian blinds, I just had ‘em installed on Wednesday.”
- Jake Gittes
“Tell me, did you foreclose on many families this week?”
- Gittes, in response to a mortgage banker insinuating he doesn’t do honest work
“I don’t get tough with anyone, Mr. Gittes, my lawyer does.”
- Evelyn Mulwray
“Maybe he takes it very seriously.”
- Gittes, after being reassured that Mulwray “never even kids about chasing after women”
“How’d you find about it? You don’t drink it… you don’t take a bath in it. They wrote you a letter? But then, you’d have to be able to read.”
- Gittes, after Mulvihill explains they shut his water off
“Well, you’re in luck, Mr. Yelburton. When Mulvihill here was sheriff of Ventura County, the rum runners landed hundreds of tons of booze on the beach and never lost a drop. He ought to be able to hold onto your water for ya.”
- Gittes, commenting on the Water Department’s dubious choice for chief of security
“Well, I’ve been accused of a lot of things before, Mrs. Mulwray, but never that.”
- Gittes, after being told Hollis Mulwray thinks he’s an innocent man
“That’s alright, officer, we can make an exception this time. I’ll see he’s careful with the matches and doesn’t burn himself.”
- Escobar, correcting a security officer for stopping Gittes for smoking
“It’s my lunch hour. I just thought I’d drop by and see who dropped dead lately.”
- Gittes, visiting the morgue
“You’re a very nosy fella, kitty cat. Do ya know what happens to nosy fellas? Huh? No? Wanna guess? No? OK. They lose their noses.”
- Man with knife
“Mrs. Mulwray, you’ll have to explain that. I do matrimonial work, it’s my métier. When a wife tells me she’s happy that her husband is cheating on her, it runs contrary to my experience. Unless she was cheating on him.”
- Gittes
“I goddamn near lost my nose. And I like it. I like breathing through it.”
- Gittes
“Only when I breathe.”
- Gittes, after being told by Yelburton that the cut on his nose “must really smart”
“It’s fine, as long as you don’t serve the chicken that way.”
- Gittes, on fish being served with the head
“If you want an answer to that question, Mr. Cross, I’ll put one of my men on the job.”
- Gittes, when asked if he’s slept with Evelyn Mulwray
“He passed away two weeks ago and one week ago, he bought the land. That’s unusual.”
- Gittes, on the strange fate of Jasper Lamar Crabb
“What happened to your nose, Gittes? Did somebody slam a bedroom window on it?”
- Loach
“Nope. Your wife got excited, she crossed her legs a little too quick. You understand what I mean, pal?”
- Gittes, in response
Screenplay by Robert Towne
