Mister Peace.com

lateniteriser tagged me to be the next participant in the “16 Interesting Things About Yourself” meme that is floating around.  If anyone else tagged or is going to tag me, pay attention.  I’m not doing this again.  There aren’t 32 interesting facts about me, so I’d have to resort to stealing anecdotes from the autobiography of Adam West.

Here we go:

1. The only sneakers I wear are hi-top black Chuck Taylor All Stars.  I feel no reason to buy any other, as the Chuck is sneaker perfection.

2. I once worked in the Slinky factory in Hollidaysburg.  If you guessed that a toy factory is a joyous place full of whimsy and merriment, a Willy Wonka-esque wonderland of pure fun, then you guessed wrong.  I operated a machine that crimped the ends of mini-Slinkies, a job I was assigned by a temp agency.  I was only there for a few weeks and I was glad to go.

3. As a kid, I excelled at competitive archery.  I’ve never gone back, as the only archers I know are hunters.

4. I hate the texture of cotton balls.  Squeezing a cotton ball between my fingers is like nails on a chalkboard.

5. My favorite season is autumn, no contest.  Crisp air, blue skies, cool temperatures, and bright foliage.  There’s no better time to take a relaxed walk wearing a light jacket.

6. I love flying.  I love anything that, even to a minor extent, simulates flying, like roller coasters.  I have been in a helicopter and it was completely awesome.  I don’t understand people who are phobic of heights because it’s really thrilling for me.  I frequently dream of flying and my first memory in life is safety-pinning a yellow bath towel around my neck and running around with my arms out, pretending to be Superman.  (I was 17.  kidding!)  Needless to say, this would be my superpower if I could pick one.

7. Speaking of firsts, my first celebrity crush was Vanna White, who gave me a boner at the age of 4.  I had no idea why it felt good.  I’m not sure why I remember this… I promise I don’t keep a Boner Journal.

8. I’ve played bass for two different “bands” if you are generous enough to call them that.  Neither of them went anywhere.  One of them was tentatively called Cixelsyd, which one of us thought was clever at the time.

9. My biggest soft spot is for animals.  I love them for many reasons and I am vocally against any animal being made to suffer in any capacity.  Even fictional ones… I could care less if an action movie features dozens of fake humans dying in explosions but if a dead cat is played for laughs, I want to strangle a motherfucker.

10. My favorite flavors are vanilla, mint, and coconut.  I am so lame that this will have to pass for an interesting fact.

11. My greatest phobia is surgery and/or piercing flesh.  I’m not afraid of swimming, snakes, heights, or any of the typical phobias that people have, but the idea of someone being cut open is awful to me.  Why do they show active surgery on television?  Who watches that?  I’m such a fucking baby over it, I have to look away if people post body mod on their blogs. 

12. I am distantly related to Paul Harvey.  And now you know… the rest of the story.

13. I’m strange in that I hate cell phones.  There have been periods in my life when I would use a cell phone out of necessity, as an alternative to a landline if other people were home and I wanted privacy but otherwise, I have always hated them.  I remember going out with a girl when I was in high school and having our time together interrupted by someone who was too lazy to so much as leave the house, while I paid for food.  I remember attempting to help a customer when I worked at a local book store, only to have the exchange interrupted by their needing to take a call.  I’M RIGHT HERE.  TALK TO ME!  Cell phones are a total annoyance… nobody needs to know where I am 24 hours a day and I don’t need to keep in constant contact with anyone.  Nobody has that much shit to say.  If I’m near a phone, you can call me and we’ll have a nice chat.  If I’m not, it means I’m doing something else so forget it.  I do want to talk to you, unless I can’t talk to you.  I firmly believe that there are periods when someone simply can’t talk and if you’ve ever called up someone who answered the phone while taking a dump, you agree.  And cell phones are expensive as hell as the service providers are the absolute nickel-and-dime kings of the planet.  Everything you do will be charged.  Everything.  It adds up pretty fast so in the end, a landline is cheaper.  Also, the reception for most cell phones are horrible, even if you have all your bars.  Every conversation involves five minutes of explaining your location and a couple minutes apologizing for nobody being able to hear you because “I’m talking over a cell phone.”  Blah! Agh!  ARRGHH!  Now I’m foaming at the mouth!  Must… catch… breath…

14. My first car was a 1991 Dodge Dynasty, purchased in the year 2000 for a grand total sum of a thousand bucks, paid in cash.  That was a great car because it was OK to drive a POS when you’re 17 and everything you do at that age is just for fun anyway.  I ran it until it stopped working and I don’t regret a thing.

15. I know what I want to do for the rest of my life.  It’s the only thing I’m good at and the only thing I love to do.  Making money doing it is extremely difficult to impossible.  My fear of not being as good as I think I am has prevented me from attempting a career.

16. I am named after an Oscar Wilde character.  You guessed it: Algernon Moncrieff Peace.

I have an “open tagging” policy.  If you want to participate, I just officially tagged you!