I do a fair job acting like I’m alright and nothing is wrong but I miss her every day and all the time. I feel terribly alone, wondering if it’s really over forever and how I’m supposed to go on knowing I can’t connect with anybody else in my life the way I did with her. I feel gloomy and pessimistic, unable to summon the good will to look forward to anything. I feel cheated because it’s always been this way, with life stealing people away from me because it’s somehow wrong that I’m happy and because I didn’t get a chance to prove myself, I never had an opportunity to shoulder her burden as my own in the name of selfless love. Instead, we both have to suffer which doesn’t seem fair to me. I miss her so much and I am afraid that I’m selfish for wanting her to feel the same. In fact, I only want her to be happy but it’s only natural that I am disappointed by the fact that, over time, everyone forgets about me eventually and I’m left wondering if I’m meant to be cast aside.
My only hope is knowing that, if not with me, she’ll be happy in her own way. I feel better knowing that she is out there at all because the universe would be dimmer without her beautiful light. I am forever thankful for that.
